Breaking: Tucker Carlson Accepts Offer To Be the Next Press Secretary for President

Tucker Carlson got the press secretary job while Democrats are still holding their broken dreams in their hands. Who can blame them, really? It’s not like they have ever had to deal with any competent Republican.

The razor-sharp wit of Carlson, who is also known for his ability to destroy his opponents easily, would make him the best choice for the position, when we say ‘best,’ we mean that he is just about the worst thing that could happen to anyone on the left. Carlson has a sharp mind and an unapologetic disposition which will inject some reality into White House press briefings.

The Democrats, who are still licking their self-inflicted wounds, now claim foul by alleging that appointing Carlson was a “menace to democracy” and “a slap in the face” to the press corps. Aww! They act as though it is surprising that the President selected someone who shares his opinions.

As I watched this news break, I couldn’t help but ask myself – what next? Would they hire Alex Jones as FDA head or Ann Coulter as Secretary of State maybe? The prospects are beyond imagination!

But seriously, folks, this is just terrible for the Democrats. They have been sleeping at their desk for so long that they have no idea what it means to create a genuine struggle for anything. And now, they’re faced with a Press Secretary who’s actually good at his job. It’s like they say – when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But in this case, when life gives you Tucker Carlson, just throw in the towel.

I mean, what’s the plan here, Democrats? Are you going to try to take him down with your usual tactics – crying foul, claiming he’s “unqualified”, and whining to the media? That’s not going to work this time around. For years Carlson has been dealing with people like you and he has scars up and down his back.

And let’s be real, folks, this signifies something more fundamental. The Democrats have become too comfortable with always getting their way towards forgetting how they can fight honestly for themselves again. Their behavior is reminiscent of the trophy generation where everyone gets rewarded irrespective of effort applied.

The Democrats need to wake up and smell the coffee. They must realize they’re not the only game in town anymore. They should learn to fight, to actually stand up for what they believe in. Because right now, they’re just a joke. And Tucker Carlson is the punchline.

The real question is, what will the Democrats do now? Will they continue to whine and complain, or will they try to put up a fight? One thing’s for sure – with Carlson at the podium, they’ll have to bring their A-game.

Tucker Carlson’s new role as Press Secretary is just another act in the greatest show on Earth – American politics. Buckle up, folks, it’s gonna be crazy!

Stay tuned, folks. It’s about to get real!